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England cricket team to sue scurrilous slander 23, September 2010

Posted by thegulfblog.com in The Sub Continent, UK.
Tags: , , , , ,

I know that there are problems in the Middle East: Israel-Palestine and the Iranian cold war leaping to mind, but I simply must write instead about the great travesty of natural justice that befell the world last week. Brace yourselves, for what I am about to say is…well, utterly shocking; there’s just no other way to put it: THE England Cricket team was accused of cheating.

I know, I know…it shook me to my very core too. WHAT would the world be coming to if the England Cricket team , the very embodiment of truth, beauty and the essence, spirit and core of fair play thew a match? Clearly, it would be a harbinger of an imminent and deserved apocalypse.

Typically, it was a dastardly foreigner that shockingly accused the England Cricket team of cheating, trying to besmirch the reputation of Lords. Ijaz Butt, the Chairman of the Pakistan Cricket Board, said that England threw the third 20:20 test match against Pakistan in an attempt to divert attention from the utterly blatant cheating of numerous Pakistan players the week before.

This is a picture of an associate of the Pakistan cricket team accepting P I L E S  of cash from an undercoer reporter to arrange for certain fouls to be ‘made’ by the Pakistan players in the match at a prescribed time. People would place bets on when such a foul would occur and thus rake in a load of cash.

This picture is of the bowler overstepping the white line, thus fouling, on the exact ball that the newspaper was told to expect. This also happened numerous other times in the match.

The England team have, therefore, demanded that Butt offer a “full and unreserved” (and hopefully grovelling) apology to the team else they will sue. If such an apology is not forthcoming, I shall be calling my Member of Parliament to fire up the gunboats to save the Queen’s honor and dignity by giving this johnny-foreigner a damn good thrashing. Who’s with me?


1. davidbroberts - 23, September 2010

I don’t see how I could have ‘laid it on thicker’ but just in case anyone misread the tone of this article, it is thoroughly, wholly and utterly tongue-in-cheek. And not a serious Victorian-era diatribe against Pakistan or, indeed, any other foreigners.

Having said that, it does look exceedingly grim for the Pakistani cricketers; they do come across as having been caught wholly red-handed. And Butt’s comments were, unless he has some proof, which I genuinely don’t think he does, very silly: now he’s going to have to make an embarrassing apology given the ferocious state of England’s libel/defamation laws.

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